Your psychology (beliefs/memory)
The "hacks" you often hear about - power poses, affirmations, dressing well - they can help in the moment, sure. But they're like putting a band-aid on a broken arm. They don't address the root cause.
Now, I know what you're thinking - this sounds like a lot of work. And you're right, it is. But let me tell you, it's worth it. I've seen countless people transform their lives using these methods, going from crippling self-doubt to unshakeable confidence.
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Identify and change limiting beliefs: Start paying attention to the thoughts that pop up when you feel unconfident. These are clues to your underlying beliefs. Once identified, you need to actively work on changing these beliefs through specific mental exercises and real-world experiences that contradict them.
For instance, high levels of cortisol (the stress hormone) can make you feel anxious and insecure. Low testosterone in men or progesterone in women can zap your motivation and assertiveness. And don't even get me started on how the modern diet wreaks havoc on our gut bacteria, which play a huge role in producing neurotransmitters that regulate mood.
You're looking for quick fixes to boost your confidence, right?
I refuse to date any women that are social media influencers, content creators, TikTok celebrities, and use Only fans. Would this be seen as normal, or would I be going too far? Why?
Optimize your physical health: Clean up your diet, focusing on whole, unprocessed foods. Get regular exercise, especially strength training, which naturally boosts confidence-enhancing hormones. Consider supplements that support hormonal balance and neurotransmitter production.
Your physical health
First, we need to understand what confidence really is. It's not just a feeling or a state of mind - it's a result of how your brain processes information based on your past experiences and beliefs. This is crucial to grasp.
Hi everybody! I have been looking at posts on narcs and narc abuse on here and if has really helped me out a lot. I am currently struggling with my situation and need some advice/support.
I met a narc last year, everything seemed to good to be true. Love bombing, always texting calling and taking me on dates. Everything changed when someone warned me about him out in public in front of him and who he is. This caused a conflict with us and the love bombing seized.
he would tell me that everything is okay and i can come and talk. He would set a time limit on me and kick me out after that.
he would then text me like everything was fine and we hung out again and after that he completely ghosted me for one week. He came back and texted me a week later laughing about the ghosting and acting like nothing had happened.
he continued to text me ( not like in the beginning) make plans with me, then on the day of the plans he would just ghost me. One day he would act interested the next silence.
i contacted him a month later and he acted like nothing happened. He was on a vacation and sent me a picture of another woman ( someone he allegedly met on the trip) to strike a reaction but i never gave him one. After the trip he came to my place and was extremely rude, accusing me of going on dates with a bunch of men. The next day he accused me of being an alcoholic and that he wanted nothing to do with me but said well maybe we can be "friends" then ghosted me
i assumed at this point it was over and i would never hear from him again. He contacted me on the holiday a month later acting like everything was great. We ended up hanging out a month or so later and when we hung out it went well, i thought things were going in the right direction.
after we hung out.. silence. I would try to text him and if he replied it would be very short then he just stopped replying. He ghosted me for almost three months. I thought he was done this time and of course he popped up again like nothing happened. At this point i was getting sick of if so i questioned him as to why he dissapeared and always does this. Of course he had some sob story about a injury and family member dying of cancer. I felt pity for him and he gave me an apology.. so i took him back stupidly.
things seemed to be going smooth for a couple months, of course until his family member died and his injury got better he never contacted me and was distant. Menawhile, i was there for him during the difficult time for him. He lied to me about the funeral and never wanted to chat. I was chasing him and he would always claim nothing was wrong but when i said i thought he used me when he was down he could not handle it and would always tell me he didnt care and to go away. I would get so upset i would try texting him to work it out he would barelt respond and if he did he would not be nice about it.
we did hang out a couple times after that, he would ignore me after. One day i was like hey i think you are seeing someone else, and i was like well ixam seeing someone so no problem if you are he said " buy bye good luck with your new guy stop contacting me" i was devastated and tried to get into contact with him for weeks then i just gave up and accepted it was over. He ended up contacting me a month later acting like everything was fine. He wanted to go out and have drinks i told him i would. He and i both seemed to have a great time. He ends up ignoring me again. I kept texting him trying to figure out what was wrong. He kept saying everything was fine and i said ok can we hang out again? He said maybe i was like why? He just kept saying maybe …
our last conversation we had… i said what is wrong ? He said nothing is wrong everything is fine. I asked him why he keeps saying maybe. He said " maybe but i dont want to see you right now" i said why? He saix " im just not feeling it, if i wanted to date i would" i said why did you contact me less then a week ago wanting to go out? He said i didnt.. even though he did. So i said should i just move on or what? He said whatever you want to do. So i said that he was really confusing me and asked him if he had anything more to say before i move on? My messages were turning green so i panicked he blocked me and reacted irrationally. I said " omg did you block me? My messages are not going through. Even texted him on my work phone asking what was up. And called him twice ( please dont judge me i know it is pathetic i never was this type of girl before him) so he replied and said " Ok I'll block you now" then immedietly blocked me. He has never blocked me before since I have met him he will just ghost. Is this ths final discard aka " grand finale? Did i just push him too far?
this has upset me so much its hard to even function.
Now, onto the physical aspect. In today's world, our bodies are bombarded with things that mess with our hormones and neurotransmitters. Processed foods, environmental toxins, lack of proper exercise - all these contribute to hormonal imbalances that directly affect our mood and confidence.
Let's tackle the psychology part first. Your brain is constantly referring to your past experiences to decide how to feel and react in the present. If you've had experiences where you felt rejected, inadequate, or embarrassed, your brain stores these as beliefs. Then, in similar situations, it triggers those same feelings to "protect" you.
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Remember, true confidence isn't about never feeling fear or doubt. It's about knowing you can handle whatever comes your way, regardless of how you feel in the moment. That's the kind of confidence that changes lives.
So, with all this in mind, here's what you need to do to truly boost your confidence:
Develop competence: Real confidence comes from knowing you're capable. Set achievable goals and consistently work towards them. Each small win reinforces your belief in your abilities.
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But here's the kicker - these beliefs aren't reality. They're just stored memories that your brain is misapplying to the present. The key to real confidence is changing these underlying beliefs.
Mindfulness and self-awareness: Learn to observe your thoughts and feelings without judgment. This helps you recognize when you're falling into old patterns and gives you the power to choose different responses.
What I'm offering you is a complete rewiring of your confidence operating system. It's not a quick fix, but it's a permanent one. And once you've done this work, you'll wonder how you ever lived any other way.
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Well, let me tell you something - I've been there, done that, and found out why most of these "hacks" don't really work long-term. But don't worry, I'm going to break this down for you in a way that actually makes sense and gives you real, lasting results.
Practice gradual exposure: Systematically expose yourself to situations that make you uncomfortable, starting small and working your way up. This helps your brain create new, positive associations and beliefs.
See, most people don't realize that confidence issues stem from two main sources:
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For example, if you once felt humiliated speaking in public, your brain might now trigger anxiety every time you're about to speak up in a meeting. It's trying to keep you safe from that past pain.
